in case you were wondering

sure fire ways to get an oscar nomination:

-play a mentally retarded person

-play a gay person

-play queen elizabeth

-be in a movie about the holocaust

-be the lead role in a biopic

-be meryl streep

"If Illinois isn't the most corrupt state in the United States, it's one hell of a competitor"

and aint it the truth.

seriously tho, just over a month ago we elected the first black president, the pride and joy of our great state.  and now this.  ugh.

anyway, enough about boring politics.  i finished my story!!  its totally and 100% done.  it comes in at just over 10,000 words (i know, right!).  i have read it so many times i am starting to hate it, so hopefully once that passes ill most likely be posting it online somewhere for those of you interested in reading it.  it will mostly be here on this blog or other blog i will create strictly for my writings.

finals are approaching, and i am very much NOT looking forward to that.  but with finals comes the end of the semester which is always a good thing.  and with that...

toodles

i did it!

i finished my short story, and i am very excited about it.  its not quite perfect yet, i still have some adjustments to make, but the first draft is complete.  im actually really proud of myself because this is something i started and actually saw through to finish it.  hopefully when im done making all the corrections i will put it online somewhere so people can actually read it.  anyway, thats all for now, i just wanted to share my good news.

toodles

okay, i lied.

so i know i said that i would eventually be reviewing the episodes of the office i have missed.  well, it doesnt look like that is going to happen.  in all fairness, i had every intention to review them when i said that i would, its just that i have a few other things i am working on that take preference.  my sincerest apologies to anyone who was looking forward to those reviews.  although i have a feeling im not disappointing anyone.  

but the good news is that one of those other things i am working on is a short and i am really excited about it.  usually when i start something like that i give up a couple pages in but i think i might actually finish this.  its loosely based on my life, and once its finished and gone through a few rereads, i may just put it up here for you to read.  but i am not going to make any promises i cant keep.

anyway, thats it for now.  tomorrow is the big election day.  if you can, GO VOTE!

toodles

slacking

so i have been totally slacking on this blog.  i really want to review each episode of the office as they come out, but im just not finding the time.  well, its more like when i do have the time, i choose to do other things.  i think i might just do one massive post with my thoughts and such.  and trust me, i do have a lot to say.

in other news, my life is pretty boring, which means i dont have much to complain about.  hopefully something comes up so i have something to write about.

toodles

why bother

yes, i realize i have not reviewed  'Baby Shower', so, for that im sorry.

but i also realize i am probably the only one who reads this thing so its not like im not letting anyone down.

anyway, i still plan on reviewing the episode, although it will mostly likely be in conjunction with this upcoming episode.

fear not friends, you will hear more soon!!

toodles

lets get ethical!

Episode 2:  Business Ethics

Bravo!  What a fantastic episode.  I really felt like this could have fit right in with season 2, which for those of you who are not as familiar with the entire series as I am, that is a very good thing.  This episode was funny and smart, and had some heart in it too, which I loved.  One of the things I love about the show so much is that at the end of the day, these are characters you love to laugh at, but also love.

Very much like The Client in season 2, this was another example of what I like to call Michael knows best.  It is very easy to forget why Michael became Regional Manager in the first place.  In this episode, Michael felt it best to ignore Meredith's unethical behavior, something Holly was not happy with.  Through the course of the episode, we learn that sweeping the issue under the rug was the best choice for the company, and regardless of this reasoning, Michael had made the right call, or "knew best".  

Another thing I love to see is Jim pranking on Dwight.  Their interactions in this episode were so reminiscent of season 2.  This was also the second time we got to see Dwight pee in a empty soda container.

Now, I could be wrong, but I think this episode will spark something we all know to be coming;  Holly leaving Dunder Mifflin.  I see this as the beginning of many instances where Holly either doesn't agree with something Michael does or feels uncomfortable by it that she will eventually want to leave.  Which is really a shame because Holly is so perfect for Michael.

Overall this was a great episode, and the rest of the season will be as good as this one, we are in for a real treat this year.

toodles

a few things...

• the office was not on last thursday because of the vp debate, but that was equally hilarious.
  
• i am astounded at how many couples from high school are still together.  
  
• in reference to any hardee's commercial, i do not falling food apetizing.  in fact, watching my sandwich drop from the air makes me less likely to eat it.
  

toodles

nobody reads this shit

seriously, who am i kidding.

regardless, im a big fan of someecards.com and today i made one of my own.  enjoy!

toodles

this just in....

THE OFFICE IS AWESOME!!!

19 long weeks have passed and my favorite show is finally back on the air.  i thought this would be a perfect opportunity for me to start a new tradition.  episode reviews!  every week i will review the new episode and let you know what i thought.  so, shall we?

EP 1:  Weight Loss

for the first time we finally get to see what our dunder mifflinites do during those long days of summer.  to be honest, i have mixed feelings about the premiere.  like, from a strictly comedic point of view, the episode was hysterical.  i mean, really funny stuff.  and not just easy funny.  last night's episode was full of humor that was really smart and clever.  overall just great stuff in the funny department.

as a holistic episode tho, i thought it was kind of lacking.  first of all, the way they broke up the show by each week didnt really give the show the tightness it usually has.  like, it almost felt like a collection of clips that chronicled two months instead of one tight, succinct episode.  it was like they had so much to cover in the episode that it felt kinda scattered.

also, the whole jam engagement really threw me.  first of all, i had read a spoiler online about something big happening in the rain, but i never would have guess it was gonna be the proposal, especially this early in the season.  like, we could have gotten at least two or three episodes of some anticipation.  for me, they way it happened was so unexpected i like didnt even have time to process.  although i will say that tight shot of them making out in the rain was pretty hot.

anyway, thats my review.  its prolly not that good but i dont give a shit cuz this aint your blog.  

until next week...

toodles

hmmmmm

as i stare into my computer, thinking of ways to avoid doing homework that do not involve facebook, i remembered i still have this thing.  i am coming to the realization that this blog only exist for the few times i get extremely bored with facebook.  or for when i need to bitch about something, which does not happen as often as i first anticipated.  and although it seems like i just came here because i have nothing better to do, that is not the only reason.  i just watched the season premiere of the island, mtv's newest real world road rules challenge.

now the challenge comes in many forms; gauntlets, infernos, duels, etc.  but all of these have one basic premise.  two teams compete in a series of challenges (get it?) while eliminating players along the way, with the ultimate goal of receiving a grand prize of some sort.  however this challenge is unlike any other we have seen before.  there are no teams.  there are no challenges.  they basically just dumped a group of 20 somethings on an island, and told them their prize is on another island just a few miles across the ocean.  there will be smaller "face offs" where players fight for keys to the treasure chest which contains their prize.  like other challenges, players are systematically eliminated.  however, unlike other challenges, the cast is not pampered with luxury mansions and catered meals.  this time they are living survivor style.  i mean seriously, their house looks like the set of gulligan's island.  and all they get to eat is rice and fish.  and occasionally the army will air drop various supplies for them.  

this may sound an awful like survivor the show, and i would agree, expect for one thing.

alcohol.

because it would not be an mtv challenge without it.  i mean, whoever came to the idea table suggesting to take the next set of real world and road rules rejects and throw them on a desert island, expect them to basically fend for themselves, expect provide them with unlimited amounts of booze.  fucking genius.

anyway, thats about it for now.  

toodles

yikes, its been a while

well, first let me apologize to all my loyal readers.  so sorry for the lack of posts over the past two months, i know you all missed me.

seriously tho, im only back because its a little after 1130 on a sunday night and im not ready to go to bed yet, shocking i know.  so i figured now would be as good as time of any to update my blog.  as promised i will not use this post to tell you all about my recent trip to israel or how ive mostly bummed around all summer and just came back from a weekend in door county.  instead i would like to take this opportunity to talk about game shows.

my parents and i, but mostly my parents, really enjoy watching gsn.  thats the game show network for those of you who cant follow along.  easily one of our favorite games to watch in lingo.  if you dont know how its played, look it up.  i just amazes me how dumb some of the people on this show can be.  i mean, if your given four out of five letters in a word, how hard could it be to guess the last letter.  seriously.  and also seriously, how many five letter words exist in the english language.  could someone find that out for me and let me know cuz i bet there are a shit ton.

but speaking of dumb people, i would like to do a study on how much being a contestant on wheel a fortune lowers your iq.  cuz honestly, i have never seen dumber people on a game show.  like seriously, and nearly without fail, every contestant is a retard.  no joke.  and maybe it has something to do with the spelling, like peoples brains cant spell as well when they are under hot lights and tv cameras.  but how many people do they think are watching them.  i cant believe wheel of fortune has the showing power like american idol does.

and for my final rant, id like to say a few words about game shows's biggest tool, alex trebek.  that guy is a fucking douchebag.  not only does he host the game show that requires probably the most amount of knowledge, he acts like he knows the answer to every fucking question.  i mean, when doug cant remember the first capital of istanbul, trebek is sure to correct him in the "how could you not know that you fucking chode" tone.  i hope one day they make trebek actually play jeopardy and then we can really see how much that asshole knows.

toodles

seriously?

snl fans that still watch the show are familiar with the weekend update segment, "really!? with seth and amy".  well, i would like to start my own version called "seriously?".  here goes.

nothing says brokeback mountain like a tree, right?

let me explain.

so ive gotten into the habit of changing the icons for my applications and folders 'n such, so much so i check apple downloads every few days or so to see what new icons are available.  well, this last time i happen to stumble upon a set of brokeback mountain themed icons.  the set of four includes two cowboy hats (of course), a shotgun (okay...), and a tree (WHAT?!).

im sorry but at what point in the movie did you decide that everytime you see a fucking tree you will immediately think of brokeback mountain?  i mean, yes, there were trees in the movie.  lots  of them actually.  and i could understand including the tree in a set of maybe 50 or 30 themed icons, but 4?  FOUR!?  i simply do not understand the thought process behind that decision. seriously.

toodles

there is a reason i am not friends with you

this post is far overdue.

facebook has recently added a new feature:  people you may know.

i hate it.  it should be renamed "people you went to high school with and hate".  okay, hate is a strong word, but i certainly do not like anyone on that fucking list, because if i did i would be friends with them already.  its stupid and pointless and just reminds me how many people i went to high school with that i didnt like.

i think facebook needs to calm the fuck down on adding all these new applications and whatnots and just enjoy being the most awesome social networking site online.

cuz you know you dropped your myspace after you got a facebook.

be honset.

toodles

alli? more like enemy

first of all, id like to officially announce i no longer have any intentions to keep up this blog.  this will simply be a place where i can bitch about shit.  so sorry reader.

now that that is out of the way, let me enlighten you on the diet pill known as alli.

alli is a weight loss supplement pill.  if you are familiar with the commercials, you know their tag line is, are ready for alli?  and according to alli, if you are not ready, you may experience treatment effects.

the following is, what i like to call, the greatest hits from alli's website.  ill provide commentary in italics.

What are treatment effects?

alli™ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. You may get:

• gas with oily spotting
• loose stools
• more frequent stools that may be hard to control

in other words, expect wet farts and shitting your pants.

The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

thats funny cuz i dont know about you but i have always thought my shit looked like something you would eat on a pizza.

Learning how to manage treatment effects is an important part of being successful with alli. Here's how to take control:

• Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over

so basically, alli confines you to your house so if you shit your pants, your are in the comfort of your own home.

• You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work

yes, because dark pants are the perfect way to hide the fact you had a shitsplosion in your pants.

• You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens

cuz you let one rip, you may just need that change of clothes.

• You can use a food journal to recognize what foods can lead to treatment effects. For example, writing down what you eat may help you learn that marinara sauce is a better option than Alfredo sauce

im sorry, but i do not need a food journal to tell me marinara sauce is a better choice than alfredo.  and if you do need a food journal to tell you that, you deserve anal leakage.

anyway, i thought you might enjoy that.  i know i certainly did.

i also want to share an experience i had recently.  now, its often i see people i went to high school with on campus.  its not uncommon cuz like half of my fucking school went here.  about nine times out of ten i dont like this person, but usually i dont mind it, because whoever it is i see understands we dont have to pretend we know each other and just pass like strangers would. 

however this time, i was forced to have interaction, similar to ones you would have the with person behind you in line at the grocery story.  and the situation quickly becomes awkward because both of you know that you know each other and more importantly you know the other person knows you.  yet you are both knowingly acting like you dont know each other as an attempt to not have awkward conversation.

following?

yea, so its stupid and my suggestion to avoid this from ever happening to you would to be run far away anytime you see someone you know but would rather not talk to.

toodles

oh tyra!

so i was watching an episode of tyra where she had a bunch of top model rejects talking about their cycles and blah blah who cares.  at the beginning tyra tells the audience how one day top model was just this idea in her head and now its in 120 countries and whatever.  then she says, and i quote, "the ratings are just second to american idol."  

now tyra, your audience may be a few fries short of a happy meal but they certainly are not dumb enough to believe that the only show more people watch than top model is american idol.  the only instance where i could believe antm comes in second to idol is the list of most watched shows with america in the title.

seriously.

toodles

its been a while....

'ello readers.

so it seems that i have neglected to update my blog.  but dont fret, it was not unintentional.  i just havent had anything to write about.  i know that none of you really care how boring my life is.  i mean, i wouldnt care about my boring life if i was someone else, so yea.  

anyway, not a whole lot of complaints to make.  american idol did another week of beatles songs, which was stupid cuz there were not that many good performances the first time.  so as you could imagine, the final 11 blew no one anyway.  although kristy lee cook wants to "blow simon out of his socks."  direct quote.

dancing with the stars started this week.  i must say, i am quite impressed with the amount of celebrity they have for this season.  after last season's start quality, abc could have convinced america i was famous.  but DWTS has really rounded up some serious C level celebrities.  (thats right, i abbreviated, how do you like me now?!)

also, if you get a chance, go see matt nathanson in concert.  he is very good live, and extremely entertaining.  funny and talented.

i guess that is it for now.  its spring break and im le tired.

toodles.

attn: the carpet no longer matches the drapes

yes ladies and gentz, i dyed my hair.  by myself.  and it is awesome.

   

its suppose to be light auburn.  its kinda hard to tell in the pictures but its much lighter than my natural color.  and its got red in it too.  anyway, i just wanted to share.

in other news, its been a big week for flaming homosexuals.  one of them won the fourth season of project runway and another got booted of idol, causing mass amounts of tearage.  now, in christian's case, i cant say i really loved his collection, but i didnt really love rami or jillian's either.  his certainly was the most dramatic and was the most show, but rami and jillian both had more wearable and marketable clothes, which ultimately a designer needs because what good are they if they cant sell their clothes.  do i think christian deserved to win?  absolutely.  he is a brilliant designer with tremendous talent and impeccable tailoring skills.  but i really think each designer had a good case for the win, which really speaks to how much talent there was on this season.

which brings me to another reality, who likes to think its the most talented season ever.  when in fact, it is not.  i would say out of the sixteen contestants left before they chose the top twelve, i liked maybe five.  FIVE.  like seriously, what the fuck idol?  and thanks america, you got my favorite little homo kicked off.  who by the way, has a HIlarious christmas video on youtube.  seriously, watch it.  but yea idol has a couple good singers, most of whom wont win but will probably end up more successful then the winner anyway.  ugh, whatever.

tomorrow im going shopping for new clothes, but i promise i wont write about it.  this blog is not turning into one of those online diaries where all i do is talk about what a boring life i have.  talking about other peoples lives is just more fun.

toodles

(happy birthday linz!! <3)

hello friends

miss me?

so, friday i celebrated my favorite alcoholiday*, unofficial!!

for those of you that dont know, unofficial is short for unofficial st. patricks day.  see, at u of i, spring break is always during the week of st. patricks day, so a lot of students are not around to celebrate it.  well, some bar owner like ten years ago decided to do something about it, and official was born.  in the beginning, i imagine, unofficial was just a night to go out and celebrate st. patricks day.  now, its an all day drink fest.  basically you want to get as drunk as possible for as long as possible.  everybody gets all dressed is green clothes and parties all day.  like, unofficial is probably the only day of the year the majority of the student body wakes up before 9 am.  and they are up for one reason.  to drink.

anyway, i would hate to bore you with the details but ill just say that i had a very good unofficial.  so, to any of you readers who know someone at u of i, and you like to have a good time, i would strongly suggest getting yourself down to chambana next year for unofficial.

you will not regret it.

toodles

*sadly i can not take credit for that word, i did not make it up.

this one is for lindsey

dear snow,

cut it out.  

you are a one trick pony that needs to be taken out back.  

catch my drift?