nobody reads this shit

seriously, who am i kidding.

regardless, im a big fan of someecards.com and today i made one of my own.  enjoy!

toodles

this just in....

THE OFFICE IS AWESOME!!!

19 long weeks have passed and my favorite show is finally back on the air.  i thought this would be a perfect opportunity for me to start a new tradition.  episode reviews!  every week i will review the new episode and let you know what i thought.  so, shall we?

EP 1:  Weight Loss

for the first time we finally get to see what our dunder mifflinites do during those long days of summer.  to be honest, i have mixed feelings about the premiere.  like, from a strictly comedic point of view, the episode was hysterical.  i mean, really funny stuff.  and not just easy funny.  last night's episode was full of humor that was really smart and clever.  overall just great stuff in the funny department.

as a holistic episode tho, i thought it was kind of lacking.  first of all, the way they broke up the show by each week didnt really give the show the tightness it usually has.  like, it almost felt like a collection of clips that chronicled two months instead of one tight, succinct episode.  it was like they had so much to cover in the episode that it felt kinda scattered.

also, the whole jam engagement really threw me.  first of all, i had read a spoiler online about something big happening in the rain, but i never would have guess it was gonna be the proposal, especially this early in the season.  like, we could have gotten at least two or three episodes of some anticipation.  for me, they way it happened was so unexpected i like didnt even have time to process.  although i will say that tight shot of them making out in the rain was pretty hot.

anyway, thats my review.  its prolly not that good but i dont give a shit cuz this aint your blog.  

until next week...

toodles

hmmmmm

as i stare into my computer, thinking of ways to avoid doing homework that do not involve facebook, i remembered i still have this thing.  i am coming to the realization that this blog only exist for the few times i get extremely bored with facebook.  or for when i need to bitch about something, which does not happen as often as i first anticipated.  and although it seems like i just came here because i have nothing better to do, that is not the only reason.  i just watched the season premiere of the island, mtv's newest real world road rules challenge.

now the challenge comes in many forms; gauntlets, infernos, duels, etc.  but all of these have one basic premise.  two teams compete in a series of challenges (get it?) while eliminating players along the way, with the ultimate goal of receiving a grand prize of some sort.  however this challenge is unlike any other we have seen before.  there are no teams.  there are no challenges.  they basically just dumped a group of 20 somethings on an island, and told them their prize is on another island just a few miles across the ocean.  there will be smaller "face offs" where players fight for keys to the treasure chest which contains their prize.  like other challenges, players are systematically eliminated.  however, unlike other challenges, the cast is not pampered with luxury mansions and catered meals.  this time they are living survivor style.  i mean seriously, their house looks like the set of gulligan's island.  and all they get to eat is rice and fish.  and occasionally the army will air drop various supplies for them.  

this may sound an awful like survivor the show, and i would agree, expect for one thing.

alcohol.

because it would not be an mtv challenge without it.  i mean, whoever came to the idea table suggesting to take the next set of real world and road rules rejects and throw them on a desert island, expect them to basically fend for themselves, expect provide them with unlimited amounts of booze.  fucking genius.

anyway, thats about it for now.  

toodles

yikes, its been a while

well, first let me apologize to all my loyal readers.  so sorry for the lack of posts over the past two months, i know you all missed me.

seriously tho, im only back because its a little after 1130 on a sunday night and im not ready to go to bed yet, shocking i know.  so i figured now would be as good as time of any to update my blog.  as promised i will not use this post to tell you all about my recent trip to israel or how ive mostly bummed around all summer and just came back from a weekend in door county.  instead i would like to take this opportunity to talk about game shows.

my parents and i, but mostly my parents, really enjoy watching gsn.  thats the game show network for those of you who cant follow along.  easily one of our favorite games to watch in lingo.  if you dont know how its played, look it up.  i just amazes me how dumb some of the people on this show can be.  i mean, if your given four out of five letters in a word, how hard could it be to guess the last letter.  seriously.  and also seriously, how many five letter words exist in the english language.  could someone find that out for me and let me know cuz i bet there are a shit ton.

but speaking of dumb people, i would like to do a study on how much being a contestant on wheel a fortune lowers your iq.  cuz honestly, i have never seen dumber people on a game show.  like seriously, and nearly without fail, every contestant is a retard.  no joke.  and maybe it has something to do with the spelling, like peoples brains cant spell as well when they are under hot lights and tv cameras.  but how many people do they think are watching them.  i cant believe wheel of fortune has the showing power like american idol does.

and for my final rant, id like to say a few words about game shows's biggest tool, alex trebek.  that guy is a fucking douchebag.  not only does he host the game show that requires probably the most amount of knowledge, he acts like he knows the answer to every fucking question.  i mean, when doug cant remember the first capital of istanbul, trebek is sure to correct him in the "how could you not know that you fucking chode" tone.  i hope one day they make trebek actually play jeopardy and then we can really see how much that asshole knows.

toodles

seriously?

snl fans that still watch the show are familiar with the weekend update segment, "really!? with seth and amy".  well, i would like to start my own version called "seriously?".  here goes.

nothing says brokeback mountain like a tree, right?

let me explain.

so ive gotten into the habit of changing the icons for my applications and folders 'n such, so much so i check apple downloads every few days or so to see what new icons are available.  well, this last time i happen to stumble upon a set of brokeback mountain themed icons.  the set of four includes two cowboy hats (of course), a shotgun (okay...), and a tree (WHAT?!).

im sorry but at what point in the movie did you decide that everytime you see a fucking tree you will immediately think of brokeback mountain?  i mean, yes, there were trees in the movie.  lots  of them actually.  and i could understand including the tree in a set of maybe 50 or 30 themed icons, but 4?  FOUR!?  i simply do not understand the thought process behind that decision. seriously.

toodles

there is a reason i am not friends with you

this post is far overdue.

facebook has recently added a new feature:  people you may know.

i hate it.  it should be renamed "people you went to high school with and hate".  okay, hate is a strong word, but i certainly do not like anyone on that fucking list, because if i did i would be friends with them already.  its stupid and pointless and just reminds me how many people i went to high school with that i didnt like.

i think facebook needs to calm the fuck down on adding all these new applications and whatnots and just enjoy being the most awesome social networking site online.

cuz you know you dropped your myspace after you got a facebook.

be honset.

toodles

alli? more like enemy

first of all, id like to officially announce i no longer have any intentions to keep up this blog.  this will simply be a place where i can bitch about shit.  so sorry reader.

now that that is out of the way, let me enlighten you on the diet pill known as alli.

alli is a weight loss supplement pill.  if you are familiar with the commercials, you know their tag line is, are ready for alli?  and according to alli, if you are not ready, you may experience treatment effects.

the following is, what i like to call, the greatest hits from alli's website.  ill provide commentary in italics.

What are treatment effects?

alli™ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. You may get:

• gas with oily spotting
• loose stools
• more frequent stools that may be hard to control

in other words, expect wet farts and shitting your pants.

The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

thats funny cuz i dont know about you but i have always thought my shit looked like something you would eat on a pizza.

Learning how to manage treatment effects is an important part of being successful with alli. Here's how to take control:

• Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over

so basically, alli confines you to your house so if you shit your pants, your are in the comfort of your own home.

• You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work

yes, because dark pants are the perfect way to hide the fact you had a shitsplosion in your pants.

• You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens

cuz you let one rip, you may just need that change of clothes.

• You can use a food journal to recognize what foods can lead to treatment effects. For example, writing down what you eat may help you learn that marinara sauce is a better option than Alfredo sauce

im sorry, but i do not need a food journal to tell me marinara sauce is a better choice than alfredo.  and if you do need a food journal to tell you that, you deserve anal leakage.

anyway, i thought you might enjoy that.  i know i certainly did.

i also want to share an experience i had recently.  now, its often i see people i went to high school with on campus.  its not uncommon cuz like half of my fucking school went here.  about nine times out of ten i dont like this person, but usually i dont mind it, because whoever it is i see understands we dont have to pretend we know each other and just pass like strangers would. 

however this time, i was forced to have interaction, similar to ones you would have the with person behind you in line at the grocery story.  and the situation quickly becomes awkward because both of you know that you know each other and more importantly you know the other person knows you.  yet you are both knowingly acting like you dont know each other as an attempt to not have awkward conversation.

following?

yea, so its stupid and my suggestion to avoid this from ever happening to you would to be run far away anytime you see someone you know but would rather not talk to.

toodles