this one is for lindsey

dear snow,

cut it out.  

you are a one trick pony that needs to be taken out back.  

catch my drift?

what happened to andre

what goes perfectly with a project runway 2 marathon?

1400 calories of ice cream.

oh yea.

seriously though, there is really nothing like getting into your jammies, and DVD it all night.  sure, most people dont like to admit they spent their friday night at home, but there is something to be said for taking a night off and just relaxing.  granted, i could be doing better things with my time than watching PR2 for the 421501346th time, but hey i could also be doing a lot worse.

in other news....

i got a new phone and i am in LOVE.

its cute and green and keyboarded and i know you are enVious.

yes, i got an enV and it is truly the greatest phone.  i know, i havent even had it a week but seriously, i freakin love this phone.  and yea, i probably spent more than i should have, but you know what, after using a fucking razr for like a year and a half, i deserve to have a good phone that works.  and besides, its m

y money anway.  but whatever, enough about me and my awesome phone.  lets get to the real good news.

people are reading my blog!  i mean, of course the whole purpose of a blog is for other people to read it, but you (well at least me) never really think people are actually reading.  but guess what, i have reader(s) and i love you all.  hopefully fun things will happen this week so i can bitch about them.

toodles

hold on mom, i need to turn off my vibrator

i forgot how much i love talk sex.  (in case you aren't aware, the oxygen channel offers a lovely little program where sue, an 85ish year old lady answers viewer questions about sex and offers loads of dirty, dirty advice.  pure entertainment gold.)  anyway, in case you ever wanted to get off every time your cell phone rang, this is the product for you.

the boditalk escort

"Boditalk escort is the perfect vibe to keep hidden in those secret places and will turn any call into an orgasmic surprise. Its discreet design makes it the perfect companion for passion on the go. Also converts to manual multi-speed vibe...2 products in 1!"

....you have GOT to be kidding me.

i could rack my brain for hours and still not come up with one good reason to use or even own this product.  i mean, i dont prefer my vag to go off every time my cell rings, but hey, thats just me.  i cant fault you if your into that stuff.

i can only make fun of you. 

toodles

happy fucking valentine's day asshole

ah, yes.  feburary 14th has decided to show its face again. 

i know what your thinking.  oh, another single girl bitching and whining about how alone she is and what a horrible life she has and how she will never find a man and be alone forever blah blah blah.  i am not one of those girls.  while i may stuff my face with ice cream or chocolate while watching brokeback mountain in my sweats, its for entirely different reasons.

now that we have gotten that out of the way, lets rip into this "holiday".

first off, i want to say that i dont hate valentines day as i am annoyed with it.  what bothers me are the couples who get each other the cards and flowers and chocolate and gush about how much they love each other and how horrible their lives would be without each other and say shit like your the best thing that has ever happened to me. SHUT THE FUCK UP.  you dont need another day to celebrate your relationship and tell each other how amazing you are together, that is what anniversaries are for.  valentines day is suppose to be about the people in your life that you love, but dont get to tell them you love them.  valentines day is for single people and non-single people.  i shouldnt have to feel somehow less fortunate or unlucky because i am single on valentines day.  like, something is wrong with me because i dont have a boyfriend and its valentines day.  well guess what st. valentine, i may not have a boyfriend, but there are a lot of things right with me.   i have great, loving parents and friends who care about me.  

and in my book, thats pretty lucky.

toodles

TURE LIFE: im a fucking mess

can i just say how much i love reality tv.  except not the primetime stuff those big networks are forcing down our throats because they ran out of new scripted shows, im talking about the real trashy shit.  cable reality.  nothing makes me feel better about my life than watching some hot mess fucking crash and burn on tv.  like today, i was watching true life:  im an alchie.  this one girl, what a fucking train wreck.  she had been drunk for fucking weeks, and came home one night, and fucking lit her cigarette with her stove.  and im not talking like she lit her stove, and held her cig up to the burner.  i mean, the cigarette was IN her mouth, and she put her face INTO the stove.  i honestly thought her head was going to explode.  or at least catch on fire or something.  im telling you though, people like that really dont deserve to live.

okay, thats kinda harsh, but she certainly deserved to burn her face off.

toodles

i blog.

ah, my first blog post.  where to begin.  well, i guess i should first of all say thanks for reading, cuz without readers, i would just be some girl on the internet.  (yikes, how acceptance speech-y was that).

also, if people do read this, i will still be a girl on the internet, just slightly more popular.

anyway, i have never really blogged before, so i fully anticipate that my blog will not as funny as i want it to be or insightful or interesting for that matter.  but that only means i can only get better at blogging. (try saying that five times fast...)  also, in case you havent noticed, im not a big fan of punctuation.  thats probably because im used to using word programs that correct all that for me.  although occasionally ill throw an apostrophe in when i fee like it, but i digress.  

i guess this whole blogging thing started cuz ive spent like the whole weekend reading project rungay, my new favorite website.  these two fags (and they refer to themselves as such so dont get all politically correct on me) basically trash past and current seasons of project runway.  so i thought it would be fun to have a blog where i could dish about shit and whatnot.  big thanks to my friend bella for coming up with the name of my blog.  (again, how awards show-ish.  maybe its cuz ive got the grammy's on).

to be honest, im not sure how long ill keep this thing up.  it could easily die off just like my xanga and myspace did.  or maybe ill become an internet sensation.

HAHAHAH

toodles